Mumbai (3 - 7 December 2007)
On day three in Mumbai, we had to do as little as possible during the day as not to over-exhort ourselves. We had to save all our energy for the evening’s Bollywood shoot which was from 17:00 to 5:00.
We took a taxi to the Victoria Train station to book tickets to Agra for the 4th of December. The plan was to spend Eon’s birthday at the Taj Mahal. And so the nightmare began… The train station building is stunning, with architecture that would amaze anyone. The inside, on the other hand, is a hell hole - people fill every possible space and you need to push and shove to make your way through the crowds. On the information board, it said that foreign tourists should go to counter 52. Once we found this counter, we started to see some light at the end of the tunnel as the queue at counter 52 was way shorter than any of the other queues. But boy was it slow! It took us about an hour to get to the front only to hear that the train we wanted to take was fully booked and the earliest that we could take a train to Agra was on the 6th of December. Eon’s birthday is on the 6th, and I was definitely not willing to spend his birthday on a crummy train. So we changed our plans in a hurry as the miserable guy behind the glass window was banging on the counter impatiently. We booked train tickets to Agra for 7 December.
This change in plans meant that we would have to spend Eon’s birthday in Mumbai and the idea had me in tears. How am I supposed to make a great day out of Mumbai?! The accommodation here is outrageously expensive, there is not much to see or do and I had such nice plans for a day at the Taj Mahal! I would have to make new plans, but this would have to wait until the next day. Now we had to get back to the hotel, take a nap and then head off to the Bollywood studio.
How does that Afrikaans song go about “die wit broek…”? Just outside the train station, Eon bought a pair of white trousers (a very in-fashion thing to wear in India - maybe due to the similarity to cricket wear?). It cost us Rs 60 (about R10). Of course, when Eon put them on that evening, he found a big hole in the inner seem!
When we got back to the hotel, we took the power nap as planned and thereafter it was off to our evening of glitz and glam in the Bollywood studio! But first we had to take a train journey to the other side of Mumbai: a one hour journey in a dirty, crummy train stuffed with Indian men who have obviously never seen a western woman before! I was the only female in our coach and they just could not stop staring at me; I felt totally violated. More and more men hopped on to the train as it passed through other stations. The seats that should only accommodate three bums each, was abused so that five people would sit, facing five other people (knees touching) and then three more guys would stand inside the diamond shapes that the touching knees formed. An Indian crotch was right in my face, but at least my face was hidden from the staring crowd. Nice isn’t it?
When we finally arrived at the Bollywood set, we were quickly introduced to the crew and showed around the set. The movie’s name is Coffee Shop, set in Goa, and it is about a girl who enters a painting competition in Goa and then falls in love with the son of an art gallery owner.
We were the only two Westerners and that attracted a bit more attention than the crew members could handle (it could also be due to the fact that Eon got into serious cricket conversation with them). After the director struggled a couple of times to get his crew’s attention, he ordered us to go sit inside until he called us 
I felt a bit like a child being sent to his room.
Lights, camera, action! The director really does shout this - and action was our cue to start walking from where we sat at a coffee table across the set. We did this in three different takes, in the same clothes though! I guess no one notice these things when you are only an extra!
It is not easy being a star - we worked all through the night and went to bed at 5:30 the next morning!
So needless to say, we slept until 12:00 noon, dragged our sorry bodies out of bed and into Subway. The Subway outlets in India have two counters: one for non-veg sandwiches and one for veg-only sandwiches. I could feel that queuing at the non-veg counter was kind of frowned upon, but I still enjoyed my Chicken Teriyaki Sandwich!
We decided that we should change our train ticket to Agra, to a ticket to Varanasi. This made more sense, seeing that we wanted to get to Nepal next and we could easily work Agra into the Rajasthan trip when we return to India in January. So we were off to the train station yet again! We went through the same notions, the same irritations and the same result. Two hours later we had a ticket to Varanasi for 7 December.
From the train station, we took a taxi and asked the guy to drop us at Chowpatty beach. He was a well spoken, Arabic looking man who gave us an informative mini-tour on the way to the beach. When we arrived at the beach, he advised that we rather go the Hanging Garden for sunset and then return for a walk along the beach. So we trusted his judgement (dammit! Don’t we learn?). The ‘Hanging Garden’ is an average looking garden built on an enormous reservoir on top pf a hill. Of course, he insisted on walking us through the garden ‘at no charge what so ever’. Afterwards, he dropped us at the beach as promised, but when we needed to pay for the taxi he charged us a fortune as he had kept his meter running all the time that we were walking through the stupid garden!!! UURRGGGHHHH!!!!
Turns out that Chowpatty beach is also not much to look at, but at least we got to see a newly wed couple, serenaded by a brass band, on their way to drink from the ocean (eeekkk!!! The water here is so contaminated - they would surely not have a great wedding night!).
My next challenge was to try and organise a day of fun for Eon’s birthday. The basic idea was to book into a nice hotel for two nights and spoil him to a gorgeous dinner. I phoned The West End - full. Then the Garden Hotel - full, hotel Apollo, Regent Hotel, Sea Palace hotel, Ascot Hotel, Gorden House, Grand hotel - ALL FULL! I was getting desperate - I could just see us spending Eon’s birthday in this scruffy place! Finally I got a vacancy at The Ritz at the price of an arm and a leg! I could not take the risk of losing out on this room, so I booked it immediately. So at least we would spend Eon’s birthday in style, right? I also made reservations at, according to the Lonely Planet, the best restaurant in Mumbai - Indigo.
We visited Elephanta Island, about 11 km from Mumbai’s shore. This is a small island full of ancient caves with impressive Hindu carvings in the walls. I guess it would have been far more impressive if we had not been to Angkor Wat. It was an average trip, with outrageous fees (Indians pay Rs10, foreigners pay Rs 250!!). And to top it all off, we were ripped of by the “guide” on the boat in paying six times more for a small information booklet than we were supposed to. At least we met an Afrikaans speaking Indian-South African lady on the way back and we did not feel so alone anymore.
We excitedly moved from Sea Shore Hotel to The Ritz. But my excitement was short-lived as the Ritz was a major disappointment - yes, it was way better than where we were staying, but I expected something short of a palace at the fee we were paying. We tried out luck and got upgraded to a deluxe room. At least Eon was chuffed with the place: we had a TV, a bath tub, hot water, bubble bath, aircon, and a room so big, I could make cart wheels across it!
For Eon’s birthday, we enjoyed the Ritz buffet breakfast, had a lovely piece of chocolate almond nougat cake and cappuccino, watched a movie that Eon bought from a street vendor (the cover said ‘Bee Movie’, but it turned out to be ‘Happily Never After’), visited the High Court and went out to Dinner at Indigo. At least the dinner lived up to its reputation and Eon had a fabulous beef steak! There was South African wine on the menu, but at a price tag of R700 for an average bottle we opted for the local wine.
This is something that I have found about India - as soon as you think it is the worst place in the world; someone says or does something unexpected and heart warming. Then, while still amazed by India’s generosity, you are pulled down again by a scammer! India truly is a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs and we have only started the ride.
It was time to leave Mumbai behind - finally - and we headed for the train station to take a 33 hour train to Varanasi!
Click on image to view Mumbai gallery. It’s the same one as the previous post.
